Wednesday, April 15, 2009

TIRADE!!!


Ever so often on this site you will see the title “tirade”. Tirade is defined as a long angry speech, usually criticism. THAT’S WHAT I DO BEST!!!!!

However let me preface this by saying, I do not hate hockey, I do not hate the NHL, I have been to a few hockey games and have thoroughly enjoyed myself.

(Call me sir mix-a-lot because there is a big “but” coming…)

BUT…how is it that NHL highlights constantly, time after time, and without fail plug up the Sportscenter Top 10 plays of the night?!?!?

I hate it!!! Night after night there are 3 or 4 NHL highlights on the Top 10 plays. I can’t even see the freakin hockey puck!!!! ESPN has to replay the highlight 7 times in super slow motion for you to even realize what just happened!!!

HEY ESPN….NO ONE CARES!!!!!!!

This is has been an exceptional year for the NBA, the MLB is back in full swing and all you can do is clutter up the top 10 plays with that NHL crap!!!

Is this not the same sport that was gone for one full season and no one cared?!?! I challenge the average person to name 3 hockey players not named Gretzky!! I bet the average person to could not even recognize the players if they saw them.

Three NHL superstars could walk right up to me right now and I would probably ask them for directions to the nearest Banana Republic, little preppy looking punks!!

They don’t even look tough!! If you are a big dude, people say wow, he must play football, if you are tall, people say, woow he must play basketball…does anyone ever say he must play hockey? As Darth Vader would say… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I would rather see a golf highlight over a NHL highlight. I would rather see a WNBA highlight, over a hockey highlight. I would even rather see a 8 year old child’s Pop Warner highlight over a NHL highlight.

When there is a vicious dunk highlight they replay it because it’s awesome! When the shortstop makes a great stop and throw to get a player out, they replay it because it’s amazing. When there is a NHL highlight they replay it 10 times because we have no idea what happened or where the actual object of the game (the puck) is currently located!!

It is horrible to watch, I will either digitally video record (DVR) Sportscenter so I can fast forward thru all the NHL garbage or I will actually change the channel, while they replay it 15 (notice the replay times keep going up...) times.

There have actually been nights when a hockey highlight has been the NUMBER ONE play of the night. Yawl don’t hear me!!! I said THE NUMBER ONE play of the night!?!?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? You mean to tell me that there were no buzzer beaters, no homeruns, no hole-in-ones, no touchdowns, no mascot humping a fan or nothing better than a dude catching a hockey puck with a glove to size of my head!?!?! (You have to see my head to appreciate what I’m sayin….LOL)

NHL season runs parallel to the NBA season, the NFL season even crosses its path, NCAA March Madness is on during hockey season aaaaaand the MLB starts up during some of the NHL season and you mean to tell me that a NHL highlight can be the NUMBER ONE play of the night!!! PLEASE!!!

Come on ESPN…stop it….just stop it!!! I bet hockey players own FATHERS don’t want to see that crap!! Hockey dads probably tell their friends that their son is a correction officer for a women’s prison because they are ashamed that he plays for the NHL!

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