Tuesday, May 12, 2009


An Indian man who fathered seven daughters has not washed for 35 years in an apparent attempt to ensure his next child is a boy, newspapers reported.
Kailash "Kalau" Singh replaces bathing and brushing his teeth with a "fire bath" every evening when he stands on one leg beside a bonfire, smokes marijuana and says prayers to Lord Shiva, according to the Hindustan Times.

"It's just like using water to take a bath," Kalau was reported as saying. "A fire bath helps kill germs and infection in the body."

Kalau, 63, from a village outside the holy city of Varanasi, outraged his family by refusing to take a ritual dip in the river Ganges even after his brother died five years ago.
"I still don't remember how it all began," he said in Saturday's edition of the paper. "I just know it started about 35 years ago."

Kalau's hygiene regime has taken its toll on his professional life.
The grocery store that he used to own closed when customers stopped shopping there due to his "unhealthy personality" and he now tills fields near Varanasi airport.
Kalau, who wears two pullovers all through the Indian summer, said his pledge not to wash was a commitment to the "national interest."

"I'll end this vow only when all problems confronting the nation end," he said.
But his neighbors in the village of Chatav said there was another reason for Kalau's washing boycott.
"A seer once told Kalau that if he does not take a bath, he would be blessed with a male child," a man called Madhusudan told the paper.
Most Indians prefer sons, who are typically regarded as breadwinners, while girls are seen as a burden because of the matrimonial dowry demanded by a groom's family and the fact that their earnings go to their husband's family.

Ok so I kind of agree with that last sentence, but the part about not washing is a definite NO-NO!!!

This guy probably has a pretty robust funk force field by now. I bet he can’t even feel it when it rains, the water almost certainly evaporates before it gets near him! And what kind of woman is still making babies with this funkzilla?

I mean this dudes breath and body must smell like slow roasted butt smothered in booty gravy with extra booty, with finely chopped up sautéed deep-fried doo-doo on a bed of funky rice! YUMMY!!

That standing on one leg junk ain’t going to fix that kind of funk. That dude is going to need to be put under anesthesia and have open funk surgery and a funkendectomy to get rid of half that funk!

Then the fool has the nerve to say he will end his funkathon when all the problems confronting the nation ends....YOU AND YOUR FUNKY BEHIND ARE A PROBLEM FACING THE NATION!!

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