Michael Jackson - Classic University Alumni

I am not going to talk about a bunch record sales and stats...that will be all over the television for the next few weeks, I will talk about what Michael Jackson meant to me and only me.

I have to admit, I was oblivious or in denial in a way yesterday. Just went on about my life like it was any other day but once the songs started pouring in on the radio and all the callers bringing up moments and memories, it all just took me back.

Not only were there too many hits to number, but those hit songs took me back to a time when every thing was good, all the family was here and at that time in my life it just felt so innocent. Michael Jackson is the G.O.A.T (Greatest of All Time) and there will never be another to do it as big as or better than him. NO OTHER ARTIST EVER SHUT DOWN PRIME TIME TV TO PREMIER A VIDEO…BEFORE OR AFTER MJ!!!

I remember the whole family getting together to watch the big floor model TV as MJ premiered “Thriller” and then a few years later, he premiered “Bad”. Both of them came on at like 8pm at night on a regular (NON-CABLE) station!!!!!!!! WHO DOES THAT?

We were excited like it was the Superbowl about to come on. I remember watching Motown 25 after MJ sent his raggedy brothers off the stage and proceeded to make history by performing Billie Jean and doing the Moonwalk…..OMG!!

Video of Motown 25 Below


As a performer and artist, MJ changed the game and he will be missed. Michael Jackson, Classic University Alumni.

HE-HE!! CHA-MON!!!!!!

Instead of robots, this was a bad movie in disguise!

Ok, I have been holding this in, because as a huge Transformer fan I really hate to say this….but the movie had waaaaaay too much cursing, (glad I didn’t take my 3 year old) too much robot humping, too many big fake red funny looking lips, and it was just plain not good!

Wait a minute, let me explain, lets start with the foundation, the story, it was all over the place, very inconsistent, and frankly down right brainless. I don’t know about you but frankly I DON’T NOT CARE WHAT SAM WITWICKY’S MOTHER HAS TO SAY OR DO!!!!

I want to see Optimus Prime and Megatron getting it in!

I am very upset at how they punked Megatron, they made him this awesome hardcore beast in the first one and now he is transforming a running from tanks and guns and cant even catch some dumb little boy who is RUNNING on foot?!?!?! Are you serious? No really...are you really serious?

Not to mention they made him bow down to some other stupid robot the NO TRANSFORMER FAN HAS EVER HEARD OF CALLED “THE FALLEN”. What kind of name is that? IT IS AN ADVANCED ALIEN ROBOT FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!!!!

Speaking of robots, they made all the robots look totally unintelligent. After 2 years are we supposed to believe they have not fixed Bumblebee’s voice? Are we to believe they do nothing but transform and sit in a garage and wait for humans to say lets go? Transformers are supposed to be an advanced alien race and all they did was shoot at stuff and drive those babbling, idiotic characters around all day, with no input besides an occasional vulgar curse word. Not to mention, the way they did those ugly potty mouth twin robots was down right racist to be real honest.

I am highly disappointed; I cannot believe Spielberg let Mike Bay destroy a perfectly good franchise. This director is all about big sets and explosions, when the average fan is about substance and quality and this movie had none of that. If I see Michael Bay in the Mall, he better run.

I apologize to anyone who enjoyed the movie but please know that I LOVE the Transformers and I have some of the FIRST series of toys, none of this new fangled junk. I have been a huge fan since Megatron was a GUN and Soundwave was a tape recorder…YES I SAID TAPE!!! Not CD or IPod…TAPE!!!!!!

So PLEASE believe me when I tell you, I did not want to have to say all of this, I am very hurt right now. This is the same feeling I get when have to spank my child, by saying all this bad stuff about something I hold so dear!

A NEW SHERRIFF IN TOWN?

The Associated Press is reporting….

The Cleveland Cavaliers are close to acquiring center Shaquille O’Neal in a trade that would pair him with MVP LeBron James, multiple people with knowledge of the deal told The Associated Press early Thursday.

The Cavs and Phoenix Suns have reached an agreement in principle on the deal, which gives Cleveland two of the league’s biggest superstars.

O’Neal will join Cleveland in exchange for center Ben Wallace, guard Sasha Pavlovic, a second-round draft pick (No. 46 overall in Thursday’s draft) and cash, said the two people who spoke on condition of anonymity because the league still must approve the deal.
What an awesome trade…IF IT THIS WAS THE YEAR 2001!!

Granted the Cavs are getting Shaq for Ben “bad knee” Wallace and some tall white dude from Yugoslavia, basically they got Shaq for NOTHING! But let's be real, Shaq is pretty much DONE! The Cavs are known for being a defensive team and Shaq just don't do defense, Shaq is known for scoring points and he has not even been doing much of that lately.

It does help the team but the Cavs need some youth in the post, possibly a Zach Randolph maybe?

Let's just be real here, they need a new coach as well. The current coach Mike Brown, is good, but to win a ring they need better. With Mike Brown the team is cohesive, and defensive, which is great but as soon as they play a team with a decent, not great but a decent defense, he cannot draw up an offensive play to save his life.

Brown does not appear to make adjustments offensively, as he says “we just put the ball in Lebron’s hands and sit back and watch”. WHAT? You will never here something like that from Phil Jackson and he coached Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant., 2 of the best that have ever done it and he still made them function with in the offense.

Either way, this trade makes the NBA offseason a little more interesting and helps with the summer sports news which has been on life support since the NBA Finals ended. COME ON FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!

Classic Television...Hilarious

If you are anything like me, (due to my high degree of awesomeness it’s highly unlikely that you are like me) you have refused to watch the horribleness that is summer time TV! There has been one disaster after another, no real sports to watch, NOTHING!

Is the writers strike over yet, because it looks like they are just throw crap against the wall and seeing what sticks, where is the originality? Anywho…I digress, I almost turned this into another tirade…the fact that I have not watched this summer time horror movie called television I missed out on one of the best moments in television history. Below is a video of a 5 foot 9 inch 95 pound model, Joanna Krupa, doing what, Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo couldn’t….put Terrell Owens in his place!
This is one of the most shocking and funniest things I have seen in a long time, I watched this video about 5 times, however Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb have watched it about 2500 times, they watch it like its NFL game footage and they have on their cell phone, their DVR, DVD, IPod shuffle, Zune, its probably looped on their TVs in the household, and Tony Romo has it as his voicemail when you call his house.

Take some notes Trent Edwards.

This is classic stuff right here, take a look.

DEPRESSED TIRADE!!!

YES IT’S TIRADE TIME AGAIN!!!!

I hate this time of year!!

The NBA playoffs just ended, there are no summer Olympics, baseball is just starting, (only up to about 70 games or so with about 7461 games left so no game is even close to being important), even hockey is done.

All the decent television shows are on hiatus, we are just left with “I’m a celebrity get me out of here” and that is worst than watching white paint dry on a white wall.


I CAN NOT TAKE THIS!!!!

The only thing keeping me going right now is the fantasy football oasis in this desert of dry television. It is a looooong way off but I can see it, oh yes I can see it, its right there in front of me.

The fantasy football magazines are in the stores, the 30 minute NFL Live on ESPN are starting to peak their head out every few days, my Championship ring is in the mail on the way to its CHAMPIONSHIP owner, I can even smell the mock drafts, the trash talk is in the air….yes its right there in front of me.

One of my drafts is exactly 2 months away to the day and I am going nuts!! In one of my leagues we are even trading draft picks already. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!

Yesss…the fantasy football oasis in this desert of dry television is right there in front of me.

MORE BUFFONERY!

HOW MANY CHAINS DO YOU NEED, AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN WEARING A BELT?!?!?

I hate to see this kind of foolishness. This college educated 32 year old rapper Plies is the epitome of everything that is wrong with the music industry.

Plies only has a two Gold records and has only been in the business for 2 years, so he is definitely not rich enough to wear chains like those pictured, and own real estate and have a decent financial portfolio.

Now that we can already see the chains and other jewelry, there is only 1 of 2 ways this thing can go, here are the two scenarios, either...

1. Plies is quite shrewd, the jewelry is fake and he lives in a mansion with tons of investments that bring in good money for him a regular basis.

2. Plies has about as much sense as hard rake, those chains are real, he lives with his mother in an apartment with 4 tricked out NON-APPRECIATING cars in the parking lot.

Now I don't normally judge a book by its cover but I will today, and judging by the expensive tattoos, the 47 chains, the designer boxers, designer belt and designer jeans, I am almost certain Plies falls under the the number 2 category.

What exactly is a "PLIES" any way?

Game, set and grunt!

Last week I posted this video.....

It was about the sounds that come out of the these crazy female tennis players. Well apparently is it more to this than just some loud unsexy noises, some think its cheating....really?!?!

Reuters reports.....

Martina Navratilova thinks it is cheating, Serena Williams does not even know she is doing it and now there is a Portuguese teenager who appears to cry out in agony when she hits the ball.
Grunting is back on the tennis agenda at the world's most famous tournament, which starts on Monday, and the big noise at Wimbledon could be 16-year-old Michelle Larcher de Brito.
At the French Open, her opponent Aravane Rezai complained about the racket across the net, telling the umpire it was distracting her.

Unrepentant as she heads into Wimbledon's first round as a wild card, Larcher de Brito has said grunting is "just something I have done always since I started playing tennis. I am going to keep on doing it because it is really part of my game."

Nine-times Wimbledon champion Navratilova, who found the grunting of Monica Seles off-putting, feels tennis officials should take a stand.

"The grunting has reached an unacceptable level. It is cheating pure and simple and it is time for something to be done," she said at an awards ceremony in Paris earlier this month.
Jimmy Connors grunted his way to eight grand slam victories in the 1970s and 80s. Ivan Lendl complained that Andre Agassi's grunting put him off. Today female players are under the spotlight as "decibel demons."

SEX APPEAL
A lion's roar is reckoned to reach 110 decibels. Former Wimbledon champion Maria Sharapova, who says she grunted since the age of four and cannot help it, has been measured at 101.
At her pre-Wimbledon news conference on Saturday, the first question to Sharapova was about grunting.

She was asked to comment on former champion Michael Stich saying that women players should not grunt because it was not sexy and sex appeal was the main attraction of women's tennis.
"No, I don't have an opinion on that," she replied crisply.

Also probed about her grunting, which has been measured at 88.9 decibels, 10-times grand slam champion Williams said it was "definitely not conscious. Sometimes I am so zoned I don't grunt, sometimes I'm so zoned that I do grunt."

Larcher de Brito was trained at the Florida academy of Nick Bollettieri, who nurtured such grand slam champions as Sharapova, Seles and Agassi. He says his academy has never encouraged grunting but argues that it does help players to release energy and stay focused.

This is the perfect opportunity for British tabloid newspapers to plug in their courtside "gruntometers" once more and wax lyrical with noise metaphors about police sirens, aircraft taking off and bull elephants bellowing. Wimbledon officials, meanwhile, will be all ears.
"We will be monitoring the situation. We work together with the International Tennis Federation and other grand slams on this issue," a tournament spokesman said.

The rules of the game state: "If the player is hindered on the point by a deliberate act of the opponent, the player shall win the point." Wimbledon umpires will need to decide if the player is grunting on purpose. The ball is firmly in their court.

MUST......HAVE......SAMMMMICH!!!!!!!

The Associated Press reported.......

A man in Oklahoma City said he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich.

Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him.

Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left.

Police said Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents.

Police have not found the attacker.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!!

This is what the sammmich monster was thinking....

Man I have to get to work, I wish this bus would hurr…..oh wow, is that a bologna sammich….OMG and its got cheese on it…..man I sooooo hungry. He is not just going to put mayo on the sammich right in front of the sammich monster is he?

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TEMPT THE SAMMICH MONSTA AND GET AWAY WITH IT? MUST…….HAVE………BOLOGNA AND CHEE…...........PUNCH…..RUN……EAT SAMMMICH!!!!!!!!!!

Holy modern miracles, Batman!

You only have two hands, which makes drinking and eating at the same time difficult.

Sure, you can hold a plate in one hand and your beer in the other, but then how do you get to the food? It's hard.

The Go Plate is a brilliant solution to that problem. It's a plate that fits over a bottle, cup or can, allowing you to eat off of your drink.

You can get a pack of 42 of the dishwasher-safe plates for $48, which should be plenty.

All you need is a straw for your beer and you are SET, because if you try to drink your beer before you take that plate off, the party is OVER!!

A New Hero?

The world is in turmoil, “THRILLER” tornadoes are every where, “BAD” flooding is killing thousands, the world recession, people are rioting in Iran over the recent election and Madonna just stole another black baby!!

With times so “DANGEROUS” what can we do now?

No worries, we have a new hero….BLITEMAN!!!!!

Bliteman’s known powers are to gyrate at super speeds, while grabbing himself and “Screaming” “HE-HE” at high pitch levels. While his enemies are disoriented Bliteman then strikes with a high kick from his huge “INVINCIBLE” feet.

It is believed that his name is derived from combining the words “Black and White”. Based on the fact that his hero costume is black and white (and glittery) as well as his black and white ethnicity. Bliteman’s origin has never been confirmed, Bliteman could be a “MOONWALKER” alien or could have gained his powers from some sort of freak accidental plastic surgery, no one is sure.

None of that matters now, with so many “OFF THE WALL” things happening in the world, we need a hero and here he is to “HEAL THE WORLD”.