Mugshot Tee

Awesome T-shirt

Like ummm....check this out...like umm...

This is not even funny...I don't even know what to say to this....BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

COLOR TIRADE!!!!!

This site is called Classic University because to me, the Oldschool is the only school. As the Dean of Classic University, I just like certain things the way they used to be, and I would very much like them to go back there.

For example, the other day I was in Home Depot and I just happen to see something called “Hand Scraped Maple”. HUH?!?! Explain to me What that is please? It looked like WOOD to me!

Whatever happened to simple things like Maple wood or Cherry wood, it has to be hand scraped now?

My favorite color used to be Blue, remember that color? The color blue is like a fossil now, they have new and improved blues like, Prussian Blue, Yale Blue and Cobalt Blue, I have even seen LAKE MICHIGAN BLUE…WHAT THE WHAT!?!?!

Lake freaking Michigan Blue? Who is thinking this crap up? It’s all motivated by the love of money and the LOVE of money is ruining this world. How you say?

Next time you are in target or some other store that sells cosmetics, go by the cosmetic aisle and you will see 1.27 billion different colors divided between 3 or 4 different manufacturers. Women are being tricked into believing that diamond blue looks better on them than peacock blue, and yes those colors actually do exist. So as a result, women go and buy 12 different colors and to see which one looks best on them.

And don’t even get me started on trying to pick a color to paint a room, have you ever seen a paint color wheel? The Sherwin Williams website color wheel has over 1500 colors in it….1500!!!!!! (1561 different colors to be exact)

Now I have a public school education so please help me on this one…there are 3 primary colors right? Then you add 3 more secondary colors, and they makes 6 colors, is that correct? Yet Sherwin freakin Williams came up with over one thousand five hundred fifty four more colors?

You are being brain washed people, it is a conspiracy to take your money!!

I remember as a child wanting the box of 64 crayons, you know the one with the with the crayon sharpener on the back of the box…AWESOME…I wanted it so bad I was ready beat up a kid and take his box of 64 crayons.

Tell me this...what kid needs 64 different colors to color Tom (a gray cat) and Jerry (a brown mouse) in a coloring book? I remember that box of 64 had gray as a color and in the same box it had the color silver…in the coloring book world, SILVER IS GREY!!! Wait, my bad, I meant say GRAY, but don’t worry cause GREY is whole other color, so there are no wrong answers here.

Some think its pure genius to come up with such a money making scheme, as an old school activist, I think its pure evil.

The Nines have it!!!

The Associated press reported this....

LA CROSSE, Wis. – No doubt. The nines have it. Chuck Berendes of La Crosse said he will never forget the birthday of this third child, born Wednesday on the ninth day of the nine month in the year 2009.

Nor will Berendes and his wife, Polly, forget Henry Michael's arrival time — at 9:09 a.m. by Cesarean section at Franciscan Skemp Medical Center in La Crosse.

But they got the biggest laugh when the newborn was placed on the delivery room scale following his birth. Berendes said it was metric scale so the doctor did the math in his head, but to make sure, he had the nurse also do the conversion.

Berendes said they broke into laughter when the nurse told them Henry weighed 9 pounds, 9 ounces.

Eagles fans are the best!

In case you are not sure, this is what you think it is...a painted or tagged wall with a mural of Michael Vick (who incedentally looks like Ray Lewis), in his new Eagle’s jersey choking a dog wearing an Tony Romo jersey…..PRICELESS!

THIS DUDE IS FAST!!!

The Berlin Associated Press reported....

The IAAF has asked the South African athletics federation to conduct a gender verification test on 800-meter runner Caster Semenya amid concerns she does not meet the requirements to compete as a woman. Caster Semenya.

The 18-year-old Semenya won the 800 final on Wednesday at the world championships in a world leading 1 minute, 55.45 seconds, beating defending
champion Janeth Jepkosgei by a massive 2.45 seconds. Jennifer Meadows of Britain took bronze. Olympic champion Pamela Jelimo was eliminated in qualifying.

The IAAF requested the gender test about three weeks ago, after Semenya
burst onto the scene by slicing her personal bests in the 800 and 1,500 by huge
margins.

IAAF spokesman Nick Davies stressed that "it's a medical issue, not
an issue of cheating." He said the "extremely complex, difficult" test has
been started but that the results were not expected for weeks.

The verification test requires a physical medical evaluation, and includes reports from a gynecologist, endocrinologist, psychologist, an internal medicine specialist and an expert on gender.

"So we're talking about reports that are very long, very time consuming," Davies said. South Africa team manager Phiwe Mlangeni-Tsholetsane would not confirm or deny that Semenya was having a gender test, but said "there was no cheating on our part." "We entered Caster as a woman and we want to keep it that way," Mlangeni-Tsholetsane said. " Our conscience is clear in terms of Caster. We have no reservations at all about that."

Although medals will be awarded for the 800, the race remains under a cloud
until the investigation is closed, and Semenya could be stripped of the gold
depending on the test results, IAAF general secretary Pierre Weiss said.

"If at the end of the investigation it is proven that the athlete is not female, we will withdraw the medal," Weiss said. "But today there is no proof and the benefit of doubt must always be in favor of the athlete."

Semenya qualified for Wednesday's final with a top time of 1 minute, 58.64 seconds, and posted the world's top time this year of 1:56.72 three weeks ago at the African junior championships in Bambous, Mauritius.

Does anyone besides me find this HILARIOUSLY FUNNY?!?! I mean I am just saying...I wouldn't fight her!

What did you EGGspect?

The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is the most unappetizing kitchen tool EVER. And best of all, it actually works.

This little devil is a hand-crafted ceramic head sporting a puzzled expression and a huge nose.

It works when you crack an egg into the separator and tilt it forward.
Then this little booger, pardon the pun, while the yolk is blocked by the nose, the rest of the egg tastefully drips through the nostrils and into your bowl.

YUMMY!!!

Use it whenever you need egg, either for just the yolks or whites for omelet's, cakes, or other recipes.

You kow you want one, you sick freak.

Catch me if you can!

THIS VIDEO....


SPAWNED THIS VIDEO...


Both are great, although the latter is very suspect...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!

PACKING HEAT!?!

An obese inmate in Texas has been charged after officials learned he had a gun hidden under flabs of his own flesh.

Twenty-five-year-old George Vera was charged with possession of a firearm in a correctional facility after he told a guard at the Harris County Jail about the unloaded 9mm pistol. The Houston Chronicle reported Thursday that Vera was originally arrested on charges of selling illegal copies of compact discs.

The 500-pound man was searched during his arrest and again at a city jail and the county jail, but officers never found the weapon in his rolls of skin. Vera admitted having the gun during a shower break at the county jail.

I was going to say something about this but, I really don't need to...he was able to get a gun in to a prison by hiding it in his rolls of fat. END OF STORY!!!

I take that back....I do have something say...first off he told a prison guard he did it, then he didn't even bring bullets under all that fat. What an idiot!! First you tell on yourself and keep the good for nothing evidence.

You could have sold that gun for tons of cigarettes and then use those cigarettes to get some money and use the money to buy some food from the prison commissary to support his habit...EATING HABIT!!! DUMMY!!

Coolest Kid Ever!!!

Is this a midget? No kid should be able to dance like this!!

STRIKE?!!?

Another Funny Man in the box!

Man in the Box - Greg Goes on Strike - Watch more Man In The Box

Hungry?

A Denver police officer has been charged with felony menacing for allegedly brandishing his gun at a McDonald's restaurant after getting tired of waiting for his food. Derrick Curtis, 29, Saunders also face charges of prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct.

An employee at the Aurora restaurant told investigators that two Denver police officers were waiting for their food at the drive-through window May 21 when one grew impatient and pulled his gun.

No one was injured.

Denver police spokesman Sonny Jackson told The Denver Post that Saunders had been suspended with pay and would be put on unpaid leave once the department is formally notified of the charges.

IS IT THAT SERIOUS MAN?!?! You don't some crackers or donuts you can eat while you wait? What the WHAT?!?!

Very suspicious.....

Gidget, the 15-year-old dog best known for her Taco Bell ad campaign, died of a stroke Tuesday in Los Angeles, California, said Sue Chipperton, her trainer.

Uttering the words "Yo Quiero Taco Bell," Gidget, a female dog, played a male dog in the commercials.

First things first, how in the world do they know the dog had a stroke?

Lastly, Michael Vick was recently let off of house arrest and released from FBI custody, the next day, Gidget, the 15-year-old Taco Bell dog died….coincidence?

I think not.

The coolest baby in the world!

ARE YOU A.M.P.E.D!?!?!

I know the tobacco industry must hate these commercials, but they are Hilarious to me.

Classic Television...Hilarious

If you are anything like me, (due to my high degree of awesomeness it’s highly unlikely that you are like me) you have refused to watch the horribleness that is summer time TV! There has been one disaster after another, no real sports to watch, NOTHING!

Is the writers strike over yet, because it looks like they are just throw crap against the wall and seeing what sticks, where is the originality? Anywho…I digress, I almost turned this into another tirade…the fact that I have not watched this summer time horror movie called television I missed out on one of the best moments in television history. Below is a video of a 5 foot 9 inch 95 pound model, Joanna Krupa, doing what, Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo couldn’t….put Terrell Owens in his place!
This is one of the most shocking and funniest things I have seen in a long time, I watched this video about 5 times, however Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb have watched it about 2500 times, they watch it like its NFL game footage and they have on their cell phone, their DVR, DVD, IPod shuffle, Zune, its probably looped on their TVs in the household, and Tony Romo has it as his voicemail when you call his house.

Take some notes Trent Edwards.

This is classic stuff right here, take a look.

MUST......HAVE......SAMMMMICH!!!!!!!

The Associated Press reported.......

A man in Oklahoma City said he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich.

Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him.

Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left.

Police said Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents.

Police have not found the attacker.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!?!!

This is what the sammmich monster was thinking....

Man I have to get to work, I wish this bus would hurr…..oh wow, is that a bologna sammich….OMG and its got cheese on it…..man I sooooo hungry. He is not just going to put mayo on the sammich right in front of the sammich monster is he?

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TEMPT THE SAMMICH MONSTA AND GET AWAY WITH IT? MUST…….HAVE………BOLOGNA AND CHEE…...........PUNCH…..RUN……EAT SAMMMICH!!!!!!!!!!

Straight Hustlin B!!

Check out this new, probably offensive advertisement, I found here at AdFreak. Hilarious!!!


Chicago-Lake Liquors in South Minneapolis has great prices on alcohol. The only problem is, it's located in "the hood," where you might actually run into some black people. What's a white person living in the affluent suburbs of Minneapolis to do? Well, you can learn to talk "black," maybe get some gold teeth, perhaps even take off your nice clothes and strut around in a wife-beater with your belly hanging out.

No one will know you're not actually black, and you might even make it out alive. That seems to be the message of this campaign from Brew in Minneapolis. See the print ads here, in which wealthy white folks from Bloomington and Eden Prairie say things like, "Oh no you dih-n't!" and "What's crack-a-lackin'?"